For almost 23 years, Carol and her family have opened their home and hearts to children who needed safety, stability and love. During that time, they have welcomed 53 children into their family, provided short-break care to many more, adopted one child, and supported over 14 families on their adoption journeys.
In this heartfelt case study, Carol shares what fostering is really like, from the challenges of helping children rebuild trust to the joy of seeing them grow in confidence and thrive. Her story offers an honest and inspiring insight into the life-changing difference foster carers can make, not only for children and young people, but for entire families.
Carol's experience
My family and I have been fostering for almost 23 years, welcoming 53 children into our home, offering short-break care to many more, adopting one of our babies and helping over 14 families through their adoption journeys.
Fostering hasn’t always been easy, but it truly is my happy place! I love caring for little ones, especially under-twos, and seeing vulnerable children grow, build trust and reach their full potential. With the support of North Tyneside Council’s fostering team and a wonderful network of fellow foster carers, I know we’re never alone. The difference you can make in a child’s life is something truly special.
I’ve never really thought of fostering as being a different way of life until someone asked me, “What is it like to be a foster carer?”
And when I stopped to think about it, I realised that it really is a different way of life.
Imagine welcoming a child or young person into your home who may be feeling vulnerable, frightened, confused or unsure of what lies ahead. They are entering an unfamiliar environment, often carrying experiences and emotions that no child should have to navigate alone.
As foster carers, we want to welcome them with open arms. We want them to feel safe, loved and accepted. We want them to settle in, become part of our family, and have every opportunity to flourish.
In an ideal world, that would happen overnight. But the reality is that every child has their own story, their own fears and their own way of coping. Trust cannot be rushed, and love isn’t always easy for a child to accept when life has taught them that people can let them down.
That’s where patience, understanding and consistency come in. Sometimes, it means sleepless nights, slammed doors, challenging behaviour and emotions that are difficult to understand. It means showing up, even on the hard days, and reminding a child that you are there for them.
And then, little by little, things begin to change.
You see the walls start to come down. You see a smile where there was once uncertainty, confidence where there was fear, and trust where there was doubt. You watch a child begin to feel that they belong.
Those moments make every difficult day worthwhile. Seeing a child build a connection with you and your family is one of the most rewarding experiences fostering can bring.
I often hear people say things like, “You deserve a medal,” “I’d get too attached,” or “I don’t know how you give them back.”
And the truth is, you do get attached. You get very attached. These children become part of your lives, your routines and your hearts. When they move on, a little piece of your heart goes with them.
But that is part of fostering.
Foster care isn’t about keeping a child forever. It’s about giving them what they need for as long as they need you. It’s about helping them feel safe, building their confidence, nurturing their resilience and showing them that they are worthy of love, care and happiness.
Every child deserves the very best chance in life, whether their journey leads them back to their birth family, to another foster carer, or to an adoptive family where they can put down permanent roots.
Our role is to support them through their journey, celebrate their progress and help prepare them for whatever comes next.
Of course, it can be heartbreaking to say goodbye. But alongside that sadness is the knowledge that you have played a part in helping a child take their next steps.
Fostering is not always easy, and it certainly isn’t without its challenges. But it is about so much more than opening your home. It is about opening your heart, offering stability when life feels uncertain, and helping a child believe in a brighter future.
And if you can help a child feel safe, valued and loved, even for a chapter of their life, then you have made a difference that truly matters. Because sometimes, you may not be their forever home, but you can still be a very important part of their story.
To find out more or start your fostering journey today, head over to the Foster with North East website.
